...I last posted on September 16th?!

You've gotta be kidding me. I could not have last posted on this blog almost 4 months ago. I came on here tonight to just write about anything, but now here I am realizing that this term has gone by far faster than one could have ever imagined.

So what's keeping me up tonight? Life. Denial. Loneliness. Relating to the original reason for this blog, I mostly feel as a fast tracking student stuck in a lonely middle between the PhDs w/ MScs and the MScs who are not yet PhDs but will be soon...phew. I'm in a unique situation in that respect and its hard to relate to either group. Quickly you realize that for all intensive purposes, you are at the same level as the them. But on the other hand, your lack of experience puts you light years behind where they are. To be honest, I'm not sure me obtaining my master's would have helped all too much...but that its a completely different story related to Impostor Syndrome which I will definitely get into for a later post. Then there are the soon to be doctoral students who I don't really relate to either. So I'm in this group alone, academically speaking at least.

I think this is the one main thing that I am trying to grasp by being in this situation - don't totally base your abilities on the abilities of those around you. People are different and their knowledge base isn't something to get you all wound up over. This is not to say that you won't be working way harder than they will be. In the end, they are more experience than you and do know way more than you as a result, which is a disadvantage to the idea of fast tracking. But when you look at the big picture (i.e. how people learn, share knowledge, etc etc) it reinforces the fact that we are all individuals (I sound like a childrens' TV show that tells kids "you are all unique and special in your own way"...blah).

I think what coming back to these blogposts also tell me is that if I was being 100% truthful...this blog would be on an entirely different topic that had no relation to academics whatsoever. But I'll keep that one to myself...for now :)